The Usefulness of Clairvoyance

something that i've come to realize about being over-educated is the lack of value and space for any sort of spirituality. as an emergent critical thinker it makes sense to see how practicing any sort of religious or spiritual practice, because of how oppressive surrounding beliefs like christianity can be, ends up being ultimately frowned upon, especially by academics. it seems that any perceived connection to spiritual things should be thought of as bouts of craziness or otherwise flawed states of being.

my encounters with post-modern fiction have helped in my thinking regarding the problematics of this way of being, of ignoring this spiritual part of ourselves. initially, i thought of this spiritual connection as being communicated to by god in various ways. then, after engaging in buddhism, i thought of this as my connection to the god within myself and the universe, its strength dependent on how often i practiced. i would think of story lines that support this train of thought, which would often take the form of a future self communicating to my present self in an attempt to guide my steps (which could explain my paralyzing indecisiveness at times). 

either way, i think we've lost touch with this part of ourselves that might make our lives a bit more complete and perhaps allow us to act a bit more intelligently. i find myself wondering about this the most when i experience deja vu. before when i would experience this, i would simply shrug it off as some freaky occurence. in that last few years however, i have come to appreciate this and try to pay special attention to it when it happens. i've come to think of it as a sign that i am on the right path--whatever path that may be. i can never tell when it's going happen but can estimate a time range of when the dream occurred, which is anywhere from months to years before the moment of deja vu occurs. which reminds me of another thing i have come to value, extremely vivid or reoccurring dreams, ones i may not understand but they have a feeling  of being important that is associated with them. maybe in later posts i'll share a couple that i felt the need to make note of. in addition to dreams, i have come to value horoscopes, especially those that i find speak directly to me. i'll share a couple that i've come to dwell on in later posts as well. 

for now, i want to touch on the problematics of dismissing these spiritual aspects of ourselves. for one, we loose touch with our humanity that much sooner by only looking at things as logically as possible. it reminds me of a post i did regarding "full metal alchemist" in which i discuss the quest for greatness and the fatal flaw of that quest being the removal of seemingly damaged or useless aspects of ourselves, which leads to misunderstandings along our journey that cause us to fail at our quest. i think that in becoming overly educated and being dismissive of our spiritual sides, we end up doing something very similar and run the risk of failing at our pursuit or at least reaching an outcome that is a reflection of our mutilated selves (if that makes sense). 

the only times i felt a spiritual connection when doing something academically was when i came to understand little and great understanding among other elements of arts based research that elated me to the point of being convinced i was in love with what i was doing at the moment (it felt so wonderful to engage in understanding and knowledge in such soulful ways), and when i was drawing to replicate real-life objects. it was during this moment in particular that i felt like i was fellowshipping with what was around me. that i was truly trying to connect with the flower, or tree, or person i was attempting to draw (maybe i was connecting with them). i also was elated and rejoiced in this realization as to what i was doing.

 i think paying attention to these moments, be they dreams, spiritual awakenings, art or fill-in-the-blank, can teach us things about the world around us as well as ourselves and humanity in general. there was nothing like playing the cello, writing and doing poetry, praying the rosary, or listening to radiohead that could aid me in connecting to understanding my soul and my current cirumstances at the time (this was many years ago). in anchoring myself in these ways, i was able to survive a troubling time and not become completely numb to life in general. education has its place, but it tends to shut out these very useful aspects that help us connect to ourselves and others in ways that rational thinking and theory cannot do alone. i find myself yearning for these connections once more with other people and on a deeply spiritual level that defies, yet can work in conjunction with all that is thought to be rational.

thoughts?

until next time...

Hip hop as musical alchemy

After talking with sis about it, it seems I must articulate my thoughts on why hip hop is/was awesome musically speaking. In either case, I love hip hop.

Lyrically, I enjoy the individuals/groups that pour their soul into discussing issues both personal and social. While by definition, I am not a connoisseur of the genre, I am quite sensitive to the occurrence of this outpouring in hip hop songs. When combined with awesome music, these songs are taken to a new height and can never be forgotten. This isn't to say I shy away from songs with an awesome beat but lacking in substance lyrically (it makes me want to dance, I can't help it).

Example:

Awesome!
So is this if you ignore the words (not that I know them all)!

What makes these songs great on a musical level, and what made hip hop so cool in the beginning was the use of samples. When done well, sampling is an art form for which deejays are usually responsible. Listening to the source material of some notables says as much.

Songs produced in this manner reminds me of alchemy. When considering alchemy as the deconstructing and reconstructing of something in order to understand  it, it makes sense to think of the art of sampling in this way--which further elevates the individuals that are able to do this. It is likely they know and understand the music being used in some way or another--usually in a deep way (this goes for music from other corners of the world regardless of language).  The de and reconstruction that results in the tracks that envelop the songs they create is therefore usually incredible and very artistic. Though the resulting song is one in its own right because it is so different from its source material(s), the feel of the song is not that much different from its source material(s). Take for instance:

and it's de/reconstruction into this:

The theme connecting the two is that of love for another/others(?)--at least in my mind.

Because this art form is usually associated with hip hop, I have begun to theorize that the people--creators and consumers--associated have qualities that allow for this awesomeness to occur in ways that vary from music creation to the collection of music one has.

So far, I've come up with this list:

• they exist (musically at least) in a perpetual state of great understanding. This means they are open to a variety of forms of music--even forms they generally dislike. Individuals are open to moments in a song  that catch their attention in profound ways (this is the stuff that gets sampled).  
• they are usually  non-conformists when it comes to musical tastes--another reason why the samples themselves end up being so awesome! 
• they see musical styles and genres as diverse, yet interconnected--which may be where the non-conformity comes into play
• their music (created and/or collected) is a conduit through which they express themselves and communicate to others

For me people with these sorts of qualities are bound to be into deejaying, hip hop, and related genres. To be clear , there is a difference between sampling and reusing a song for the purpose of giving it that old school yet modern twist (the same goes for this recent trend in underground-ish scene, lame! And yes, I realize I am being rather close-minded about this). There is stuff out there that is new yet stylistically old and highly sample-able i.e. most of what's on the Daptone and Truth and Soul labels (not even close to lame. I mean have you heard SJDK's version of "What Have You Done for Me Lately?").

Any thoughts on this topic are welcome. I realize there are shortcomings to this pondering, especially when it comes to universalizing people and not knowing enough about hip hop and sampling and the people who do it. Still this is something I've noticed and pondered for a while now and had to establish some initial thoughts.

Until next time...

Ways of Seeing and Understanding

In a few of my posts, I've made references to little and great understanding. This post is an attempt at rectifying the mistake of not explaining what any of this means. My thoughts on this subject are derived from "Provoked by Astonishment: Seeing and Understanding in Inquiry" by Allan Neilsen in the book Provoked by Art: Theorizing Arts-informed Research and edited volume. Related thoughts will likely refer to The Eternal Smile by Derek Kirk Kim and Gene Luen Yang. I hope this ramble is accessible to everyone even though it's origins come from my encounters with academia...

When it comes to thinking about how things are understood and how this understanding is communicated, in American academia and culture in general, understanding is done in a way that leaves little room for alternatives. For example, when I teach my four-year-old to do something, from that point on, unless told otherwise, that is the only way it can be done. Adults, I've observed, are the same way it seems; closed to alternatives once one way of understanding something has been communicated.

I find this way of being to be quite oppressive, especially when it comes to expressing myself or attempting to express knowledge in general. There is more than one way to know and understand. Why should I be punished because I do not do it exactly your way (and by your I mean the status-quo--the way of doing and being considered to be mainstream)?

Well, thank goodness I am not the only one who feels this way. Books have been written challenging and--for me--presenting differing ways to look at and understand things that have offered a bit of hope and happiness for me as a continual learner. This was especially the case after reading A.Neilsen's "Provoked by Astonishment...". This piece emphasizes the importance of being open to astonishment since it "creates opportunity for insight and understanding by disrupting the busyness and unmindfulness of everyday existence" (56).  By being open to the unexpected we are also open to all sorts of possibilities when it comes to knowing and understanding something, we are able to break free of stifling conventions. Which brings me to "little" and "great" understanding.

The state of "Little Understanding" is one that consists of  the "constricted awareness and discriminatory thinking" that is a part of standardized modes of doing and being. Additionally, this state is mandated by thoughts of how things should or ought to be and apprehensions of what could be and are thus limiting and restrictive (56-57).

The state of "Great Understanding" is one that consists of being in "a contemplative state that allows us to be in the moment, to be knocked to the ground in astonishment, to see with new eyes" (57).

 This brings me to observe a theme I found in D.K.Kim & G.L.Yang's The Eternal Smile. First off I highly recommend this book 'cause it's awesome! Apologies for the spoiler but--and maybe those of you who have read  this saw other things--I found the theme of this piece (yes I know it's three stories) to be that of ways of seeing. For these three stories this was presented via fantasy and its role in allowing the characters in each tale to see or maybe examine their lives--summed up well in the third story "Urgent Request" when proposing that fantasy is not simply a means of escape but a way in which one can see (so cool!). I see certain tales of fantasy like this much of the time and am often astonished by the messages and their relation to real-life. Sometimes I think people tell stories for this very reason. No wonder I like stuff like FMA so much!

Ahem...back to the rest of the post...

Despite the attractiveness of states of Great Understanding, valuing the importance of both states is necessary (although sometimes I do wonder). This means not forsaking one for the other but being able to "preserve and transcend" states of Little Understanding as a means of becoming "whole"(57). This is important to understanding which requires being "in the moment" and being able to "apprehend experience holistically," and to "connect" (58).This is what I want my travels in academia and life in general to be about.

I couldn't be happier to have stumbled across this nugget of understanding and can hope that along my journey I am able to attain states of Great Understanding while not treating Little Understanding as a nemesis of sorts. I hope reading the books mentioned in this post will be as helpful to you as it has been for me. Please feel free to add, challenge, expand, or whatever about this topic. Any related book, movie or show suggestions would also be nice!

Recommended reading:
American Born Chinese
Level Up
Three Day Road
Days of War, Nights of Love

Until next time...

This is a piece I did for an art final I have yet to title. Maybe something like Desires or Letting Go... It was done on a large sheet of paper with charcoal (my drawing arch nemesis).  It had to have a narrative surrounding it as well as a self-portrait of sorts. In a sense this piece is a reflection of my inability to articulate my ideas clearly. So here is an attempt to clarify this highly amateur work. So much for show and don't tell...

The foreground and background are meant as layers to a rather complex quest toward a desire towards peace and prosperity internally and externally. In the background, starting at the left, is a space filled with concrete and what is largely a socially constructed world that in its own way is quite 'natural' in the ways we live within it. Because I am in academia, I put in an artificial tree with papers for leaves. The road at its boundaries is asphalt. There is only one way to go about existence on this side. Unconsciously or in retrospect, this is a representation of living in a "left-brained" world. A world run by absolute logic and reason considered to be near infallible.

On the right there are living things--grass and flowers, a 'real' tree and a river serving as the boundary. This is meant to represent the other end of the spectrum and the opposite of absolute logic and reason. A place where creativity and emotion is allowed to thrive. Water representing the fluidity of consciousness and thought. A road with many possibilities for travel. An element where reality and fantasy can reside in realms like storytelling. Once more, in retrospect, a representation of living in a "right-brained" world.  The two 'roads' mimic one another, showing the dialectics of one informing the other.In the middle is a valley of tall grass meant to serve as negative space--a path that is the balance point between reason and fluidity. A space connecting the two modes of thought and being. Where both ways of thought coexist harmoniously. This is my illustration of what such a path--where there is appreciation for both modes of thinking and being--might look like. It is tough to imagine a more fitting representation despite the words of wisdom cautioning not to travel completely on one road and forsake the other (although it is more than tempting for me to want to cast aside the path and place of absolute reason at times). This is the road and place I would like to discover for myself,  a path and place of balance in thought, reasoning and being.

In the foreground is the self-portrait of my hands. They are bloodied and reaching. The object they are reaching for is the sun within which is a peony. This object is a representation of inner and outer peace and prosperity. For me this means doing well by others as well as myself. Working toward the betterment of humanity. Working toward peace, love and happiness as a focal point of my travels. Like the sun, it is out of reach and perhaps a naive and idealistic quest that is has a rather vague goal. I am unsure of what this type of endeavor looks like in a concrete manner since this journey is one that in some respects has been traveled and is heavily reliant on the path of reason, the path that has made sense to me. In other respects this--traveling along the path of reason--is not the case in that my desires are not concrete and perhaps unattainable--especially the betterment of humanity and doing something that helps others, let alone wanting to find inner peace, love , and happiness.

What has bloodied my hands is tin flower with jagged razor edges. This flower represents the beauty of ideals that have become rather painful and self-harming to hold on to. Adhering to authority figures because it  keeps one out of trouble and unquestioned obedience are examples of this. Adhering to tenets of logic and reason, though I've never fully understood them, has become quite painful and oppressive. Abiding by rules that are quite arbitrary in that not everyone has to in order to do well in their journey i.e working hard and reaping the benefits of one's labors, and the old adage, no pain, no gain. These are things that have resulted in much pain and misery yet are difficult to let go of because I've known nothing else and am afraid of being penalized or loosing my way.

I understand that in going for ones goals, hopes and dreams--striving fully--reaching out means letting go. Of  fear, pain of the past and present, and perhaps of control as well. It means leaving behind things I've learned, 'truths' that might no longer be relevant if I am to truly understand and strive for my goals. And perhaps it means trusting completely in myself.

I've been thinking a lot about my journey in dichotomies. Two extremes, either this or that, nothing in between. This has been the nature of my existence and it is hard to think beyond one or the other. This piece is a depiction of a desire to move away from that. To move toward a space with a great amount of possibility in thought and being. Maybe freedom is what I'm after.

Thanks for bearing with me on this.

Up next, a dichotomous way of expressing this desire but hopefully no less of a sense of liberation is attached.