The Usefulness of Clairvoyance

something that i've come to realize about being over-educated is the lack of value and space for any sort of spirituality. as an emergent critical thinker it makes sense to see how practicing any sort of religious or spiritual practice, because of how oppressive surrounding beliefs like christianity can be, ends up being ultimately frowned upon, especially by academics. it seems that any perceived connection to spiritual things should be thought of as bouts of craziness or otherwise flawed states of being.

my encounters with post-modern fiction have helped in my thinking regarding the problematics of this way of being, of ignoring this spiritual part of ourselves. initially, i thought of this spiritual connection as being communicated to by god in various ways. then, after engaging in buddhism, i thought of this as my connection to the god within myself and the universe, its strength dependent on how often i practiced. i would think of story lines that support this train of thought, which would often take the form of a future self communicating to my present self in an attempt to guide my steps (which could explain my paralyzing indecisiveness at times). 

either way, i think we've lost touch with this part of ourselves that might make our lives a bit more complete and perhaps allow us to act a bit more intelligently. i find myself wondering about this the most when i experience deja vu. before when i would experience this, i would simply shrug it off as some freaky occurence. in that last few years however, i have come to appreciate this and try to pay special attention to it when it happens. i've come to think of it as a sign that i am on the right path--whatever path that may be. i can never tell when it's going happen but can estimate a time range of when the dream occurred, which is anywhere from months to years before the moment of deja vu occurs. which reminds me of another thing i have come to value, extremely vivid or reoccurring dreams, ones i may not understand but they have a feeling  of being important that is associated with them. maybe in later posts i'll share a couple that i felt the need to make note of. in addition to dreams, i have come to value horoscopes, especially those that i find speak directly to me. i'll share a couple that i've come to dwell on in later posts as well. 

for now, i want to touch on the problematics of dismissing these spiritual aspects of ourselves. for one, we loose touch with our humanity that much sooner by only looking at things as logically as possible. it reminds me of a post i did regarding "full metal alchemist" in which i discuss the quest for greatness and the fatal flaw of that quest being the removal of seemingly damaged or useless aspects of ourselves, which leads to misunderstandings along our journey that cause us to fail at our quest. i think that in becoming overly educated and being dismissive of our spiritual sides, we end up doing something very similar and run the risk of failing at our pursuit or at least reaching an outcome that is a reflection of our mutilated selves (if that makes sense). 

the only times i felt a spiritual connection when doing something academically was when i came to understand little and great understanding among other elements of arts based research that elated me to the point of being convinced i was in love with what i was doing at the moment (it felt so wonderful to engage in understanding and knowledge in such soulful ways), and when i was drawing to replicate real-life objects. it was during this moment in particular that i felt like i was fellowshipping with what was around me. that i was truly trying to connect with the flower, or tree, or person i was attempting to draw (maybe i was connecting with them). i also was elated and rejoiced in this realization as to what i was doing.

 i think paying attention to these moments, be they dreams, spiritual awakenings, art or fill-in-the-blank, can teach us things about the world around us as well as ourselves and humanity in general. there was nothing like playing the cello, writing and doing poetry, praying the rosary, or listening to radiohead that could aid me in connecting to understanding my soul and my current cirumstances at the time (this was many years ago). in anchoring myself in these ways, i was able to survive a troubling time and not become completely numb to life in general. education has its place, but it tends to shut out these very useful aspects that help us connect to ourselves and others in ways that rational thinking and theory cannot do alone. i find myself yearning for these connections once more with other people and on a deeply spiritual level that defies, yet can work in conjunction with all that is thought to be rational.

thoughts?

until next time...

Full Metal Alchemist ponderings pt. 3: The Quest for Greatness

***Disclaimer: It's been more than a few months since I've seen this series. I might not be remembering things  as correctly as I should. Please, offer scrutiny but be kind about mis-stated events.***

To start off, I love the idea this show has communicated about alchemy; that it is the act of breaking something down to its elements and using those elements to create something seemingly completely different...

So, after having dinner with a few friends, and speaking with one who had seen the show with her children, I was thrown back into pondering aspects of the show that seemed poignant. When this "Wannabe Nerd" (according to her child the "Real Nerd") started speaking about the role of the homunculi as the seven deadly sins, I was reminded once more of my love for this show.

You see the character "Father" is an artificial being, a homunculus who takes on human qualities after making contact with human blood. "Father" is a brilliant being, even before taking on physical qualities of "humanity". Despite "his" brilliance, "Father" quests for the status of Godliness--going so far as to consume it--and believes that doing so requires the purging of "his" flaws; from which the homunculi--each carrying the name and quality of  one of the seven deadly sins--are "created".

This purging, however, proved to be "Father's" downfall since "he" failed to acknowledge that these "flaws" are what make "him" whole and are thus necessary components of "his" being. The  status of deity could never be realized because "Father" never saw "himself"--as "he" was originally--as great. "Father" only noticed "flaws" and while purging "himself" of them, neglected to realize that "his" quest was one that was saturated by these very "flaws" "he" chose to deny about "himself". Apologies for the redundance and/or lack of clarity.

All of this makes me wonder about who our "Fathers" are in our lives or society? These artificial beings or entities on a quest for perfection--even God-like status--but wrought with unacknowledged contradictions. Entities ultimately responsible for the loss of billions of lives because of this quest (it was "Father" who had the knowledge of how to create a philosopher's stone and used others to help "him" bring it to reality). Entities that attempt to rid themselves of perceived flaws that are actually necessary aspects of their beings.

For me these artificial beings--or homunculi--take many forms: religions, knowledge, progress, myths, other social constructions... Social things that might not have started off as evil in their intentions but because of the lack of inward recognition of what makes them whole, became oppressive and therefore evil.

Inside of ourselves even, we are taught to purge ourselves of "flaws" because they limit us, when perhaps it is the act of doing this that is limiting in its counterproductivity. Why not understand these aspects of ourselves and our worlds since they are what make us whole?

I think of the idea stated about alchemy stated earlier and think about how we try to do this with ourselves; trying to create a greater element, a greater person or world, but when the essential elements--things we might not realize are essential--are taken out of the mix, how can it be expected that the result will be "golden" when those key ingredients have been taken out? It should be expected that nothing short of disaster  results in not valuing what was already there.

So in seeing ourselves as we are, and seeing the greatness in that, we are acknowledging our Godliness though we appear not to be in that form? Perhaps that's what I've taken from this aspect of the show. If lead can be turned to gold--assuming the same elemental ingredients are involved--we should see ourselves as beings that possess similar qualities right? This then confuses me when it comes to the concept of equivalent exchange--which is a concept that is scrutinized yet valued when it comes to Ed giving up a part of himself for his brother Al (and others along the way). Ah I'm not exactly sure how this fits into my musing. Maybe it doesn't.

Well now all I need to do is figure out what this looks like for myself and how I engage my social worlds...
What would it look like for you?

Thoughts are welcome and appreciated as usual.

Until next time...